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He Closed His Eyes

It was quiet here, buried under fifty feet of New York soil, the reinforced concrete was rated up to 500 degrees, insulated against electromagnetic energy, able to withstand any earthquake below 6 on the Richter scale. Perhaps if he stayed still enough and quiet enough, he'd be safe again. Maybe if he waited long enough, the pain would stop. He was so tired anyway. To tired to stand up again. To tired to meet the professor's eyes. To tired to stand guard over Jane's bed and listen to the ventilators breathe for her and the monitor count the fragile beating of her heart.

It was much easier to sit here on the floor beside the elevators. That was as far as he'd gotten before he simply couldn't go on. Scott sank to the floor, pressed his forehead against his drawn up knees and closed his eyes. All the muscles from the tips of his fingers to his right shoulder ached in a slowly tightening line of strained muscles and torn ligaments. Hank had strapped him into a brace to protect the shoulder joint while the damage healed — prognosis was for a month or more of immobility and perhaps six months of therapy — if he could avoid surgery. Right now, Hank had no time for more than a brace and some pain pills. No one really had time for his weakness but Scott just didn't have any strength left.

The elevator hummed to life, Scott felt the vibrations in his back as much as he heard it. He knew exactly how fast it went and he reflexively counted the seconds and knew, when it opened, that the journey had begun on the second floor. He let his head slide sideways, to tired to lift it, and recognized Logan's scuffed work-boots. The laces on the right shoe dragged on the ground, carelessly tied. They paused then padded his way, surprisingly quiet. Scott wondered how long it took to learn to walk silently in boots like that. Logan probably didn't remember.

"Slim?" Logan knelt next to him, the worn spot on the left knee of his jeans hitting the floor, leaving another few threads behind.

"I can't." Scott whispered.

"What?"

"I just — can't." Scott lifted his good hand for a moment, fingers empty and helpless, then let it fall and turned his face back to the shelter of his knees. Even Logan's unwelcome presence couldn't goad him into standing up again.

Logan knelt beside him for a long moment. Scott desperately didn't want to think. He couldn't stop. He could still hear the mechanical ping-ping of Jane's heart beat. He was still reflexively timing the rise and fall of her chest. Eight beats, exhale, eight beats, inhale. Unchanging, mechanically perfect.

"C'mon, Slim." Logan's hand insinuated itself between his back and the wall. It was large and very hot and Scott shivered. Logan lifted him to his feet without trouble and Scott was steered into the elevator and propped up against the wall. He stared dully at Logan - at the faint frown and the quick, measuring glance. He waited for the cutting comment, the sarcasm that came so quick out of the ruthless Canadian's mouth.

"When'd ya sleep?"

"I'm not tired." And he wasn't. He was only — numb. His thoughts tick-tocked like a mechanical clock, counting breaths, counting the long seconds between the stopping of Jane's heart and the moment when he put his mouth to hers and began breathing for her. He knew exactly how long — four minutes and 27 seconds. Brain damage was inevitable at six minutes.

"Not what I asked, Slim."

Scott shrugged. Logan punched up the second floor, where most of the bedrooms were.

"No." Scott balked as the door slid open, bracing his good hand on the rail and refusing to leave the elevator. He didn't care what he looked like. He didn't even care that it was Logan seeing him like this. It was easier, somehow, with Logan than with a friend. "No. Logan. I can't — I can't go there. Not now."

"Ya gotta sleep, Slim."

"Not there." Scott couldn't lift his eyes past Logan's belt. He had one thumb hooked carelessly next to the cheap, massive Canadian leaf buckle and was drumming his fingers impatiently on the fly of his jeans. Dark hair shadowed Logan's hand, disappearing up the sleeve of his shirt, and there was dirt under his nails. No, Scott's stomach clenched, not dirt. Dried blood. That was the hand that Logan had jammed into the safety door to keep it from trapping them all inside the barren forge-room and easy targets for the very well armed and well prepared FOH snipers. Logan's shriek of agony had not quite drowned out the squeal of metal grating on metal while his left hand and half his forearm had been ground up by the door mechanics. Logan's fingers stopped their dance and curled into a loose fist, knuckles scratching absentmindedly against his thigh.

Scott shut his eyes. If he'd been a little faster in the forge room, he wouldn't have been lying semi-conscious on the floor with a dislocated arm and Logan would never have had to use his own body to gum up the works of a ten-thousand pound psi safety door. He still heard that scream, rough and full of animal agony. He hadn't known what it had been until he'd struggled back to his feet to see Logan slumped along the doorjamb, the back of his uniform peppered with bullet holes and blood sprayed in a vital arc across the immobilized steel door.

"Whats goin' on w'ya there, Slim?" Logan was still leaning in the elevator, ignoring the soft safety ping as the doors tried to close against his body.

Scott blinked away the red-after images and swallowed against his tightening throat. God, he was going to cry in front of Logan. He swallowed again and flushed. "I — can't shut it down. Can't stop thinking. Can't stop — counting."

"Counting what?"

Scott scrubbed his face with his good hand. He didn't want to talk but the words were coming anyway, like the tears sliding past the visor he hadn't yet taken off. "Counting — counting breaths, counting seconds, counting — how long would it take me to reach her — how long you stayed down. Counting the snipers. Wondering if Iceman would reach us in time. Wondering if they'd found a vial spot on you finally. Were you going to die too — how many were I was going to loose. Trying to plan for it all. All the failures, all the ways out — "

"Hey, Slim, take it easy. I don't die that easy."

Scott shook his head frantically. "Sure — sure. You could outlive us all, if you aren't ground into hamburger trying to keep us alive. How long before a bullet catches you in the eye? How long before Magneto ties you into a pretzel?"

"I make my own choices, Slim. I don't need ya playin' Fearless fer me." Logan growled. "I follow y' because ya know what y'doin. Hasn't changed."

Scott hitched in a quick breath. "I can't! I can't do it anymore! How long before I lose someone else?"

"Hey, Slim." Logan stepped up and plucked him off the rail. Scott was crushed up against a hard ribcage, Logan's body heat startling him again. The shorter man began to lead him down the hall and Scott was forced to stumble next to him. Trying to resist Logan was like trying to hold back an avalanche. "She ain't dead an' that's 'cause you kept her goin' — kept us all goin' till we were safe. Ya gotta know that."

"I can't go on anymore. I can't keep doing this. I c-can't keep killing the people I love." Scott choked. His chest ached, a tight heat rose from his belly and he wondered miserably if he was going to be sick in the hallway. "Not anymore — god, Logan I can't sleep in here with her all around!"

His bedroom door swung open and his eyes fell on a tumble of wool, Jane's sweater, tossed on the floor when the alarm had come in. He knew the texture of that wool, loose and soft, scented with lab chemicals and Jane's skin. Late afternoon sun picked out her books on the desk, her clothes lain over a chair, the blankets pulled back on the side of the bed where she slept.

Raw and sudden, Scott wailed, crumpling into Logan's body. Harsh sobs tore through is chest, wrenching his injured shoulder, coming faster and louder. Awful sounds. It couldn't be him. He didn't cry. What would the students think? Knees buckling, Scott buried his face against Logan's worn work shirt, weeping into the darkness. Logan's arm came around his waist, holding him up. Rough words fell softly against his ears. Meaningless. Reassuring. Gentle.

Scott cried himself out in the doorway to his own room while Logan held him. Too exhausted to lift his head, Scott rested his forehead against his shoulder and waited for Logan to put him down and leave him. Mr. I-don't-have-feelings was probably pretty sick of him by now. But — Logan was petting his back, firm reassuring strokes like he was soothing an frightened animal.

"Okay now. Okay now. I gotcha, Slim. I gotcha now. Y'can be easy now." Logan's whisky voice, low in his ear, was a smooth as velvet. Scott made an brief attempt to free himself from Logan's unexpected embrace. Those heavy, warm arms tightened and Scott sank against him. He needed this. Someone to hold him, someone to decide for him, even if it was Logan. God, he must be desperate. Breath hitching hard in his chest, Scott waited for Logan to do something.

The Canadian seemed content to stroke his back and as the heat from his hands seeped into Scott's chilled muscles he began to shiver convulsively. Against the warmth of Logan's body, Scott felt desperately cold.

"C'mon, now, Slim." Logan said softly and turned him back into the hall.

Teeth chattering and head hanging, Scott stumbled along next to Logan, mostly held up by the other man's strength. Logan led him down the hallway, murmuring gentle encouragement, telling him it wouldn't be long now. Everything was alright. He would take care of him.

Scott tried to focus on Logan, on the here and now but the damn martinet in his head wouldn't shut up. He was still measuring the beating of Jane's heart, three floors away. Memories were brighter than the dim, carpeted hallway he walked down. The spill of Logan's blood across concrete and his white face, those dark eyes flickering wide open, full of pain the Iceman yanked his arm from the door mechanism. The pewter gleam of metal and pulverized bone. Jane's head heavy on his shoulder, her body a dead weight. If only he had been faster, stronger, quicker to realize it was a trap. If he had been right, she would be holding him now instead of a man he could barely stand to talk to.

Logan pushed open the door to his bedroom. There was nothing personal here, a school blanket was spread with military precision across the single bed. The desk was bare. Whatever clothes the Canadian had were hidden away in the closet. The only thing that was out of place were the gouges on the head board and wall by the bed. Claw marks. Logan's signature nightmares. The window was cracked open, letting in the chilly spring air and the soft rustle of new leaves.

"Yer in shock, Slim." Logan said softly, his cigar scented breath warming the icy skin of Scott's cheek. "Ya gotta get warmed up and get some rest."

"I can't shut it down. I keep seeing it all — again and again. Can't stop thinking." Scott curled the fingers of his good hand in Logan's belt. It was all that was holding him up. It was all he had. "I'm scared to lie down. Scared to stop moving. Jesus, Logan, I can't take any more of this."

"Yeah." Logan murmured. "I know it. I'm gonna help ya. Ya trust me for this Slim?"

"Anything." Scott groaned miserably. "I don't care."

"Don't cha'worry, Slim. Ya don't have to care. I'll take care of ya."

Logan cupped his hand around the back of his neck, thumb pressing soothingly into muscles Scott hadn't known were so painfully tight. Those fingers slid along the collar of his shirt, the touch becoming light, caressing. Scott closed his eyes as he felt Logan fold his collar back. Warm lips pressed firmly to his pulse, there was a pause then Scott tipped his head back. That mouth opened against his skin and a hot tongue slid along his throat, wet, burning. Scott shuddered.

Logan pressed him close, holding him gently, his hand spread across Scott's lower back. A stubbled cheek rubbed against the skin of his neck but those lips were so, so soft. Logan licked his throat again, long and slow. Scott could feel Logan's cock throbbing slowly against his thigh.

"Oh, god." He whispered. Scott fumbled with his good hand, clutching at Logan's shoulder, digging his fingers into hard muscle. Welcome heat was rising in him at every point his body touched Logan's — through his palm on Logan's shoulder, through the press of Logan's hand on his back, the touch of Logan's cock against his thigh. The miracle of his mouth on his throat. The back of his head was cradled in one of Logan's large hands. Scott could feel Logan's fingers tightening slightly on his hair, urging his head farther back.

"Trust me, Slim." Logan muttered, his lips brushing his ear. "This'll stop ya thinkin."

Sharp teeth nipped his earlobe and the shock raced straight down his spine to his cock. He bucked. Logan licked his ear with a soft growl of satisfaction and ground his thigh against Scott's cock gently.

"Ah. Yer real good." Logan murmured, lips travelling along Scott's jawline. Sharp teeth nibbled his chin, then Logan kissed him briefly.

Panting Scott pushed against Logan's shoulder, putting some space between them and opening his eyes to look down at the shorter man. This close he could see Logan's wide pupils, there was no mockery there, only lust and patience. Dark stubble dusted the Canadian's upper lip and his wide cheekbones, he was flushed. Scott watched Logan's nostrils flare, breathing heavily and, no doubt, inhaling his scent. Smelling his unwelcome arousal. Logan's tongue curled across his lower lip in a moment of uncertainty before he tipped his head up and, holding the back of Scott's head firmly, kissed him again.

Scott wasn't sure he wanted to do this and the last inches between the two of them took forever to cross, leaving him plenty of time for doubts. He had never touched another man like this. God knows he never wanted to touch Logan like this. Logan's lips forced his open then he felt the gentle invasion of Logan's tongue. His uncertainties didn't matter in the face of Logan's determination. Logan seemed to know what he was doing at least, which was more than Scott had.

Loan's thumb was pressing behind his ear and his mouth pushed at Scott's; his tongue pressed between his teeth and stroked across his soft palate. Again, the rush of pleasure sank down his body, straight to his aching cock. Logan's thigh was pressed just right, pushed between his legs and Scott rocked against denim and hard muscle.

He moaned into Logan's mouth, feeling an answering growl against his lips, and sucked on Logan's tongue. Scott felt the man's arms tighten on him and fumbled downward, a little scared. But his reservations were dissolving into an overwhelming need to not think. To somehow derail the merry-go-round of his thoughts. He do pretty much anything for a chance to silence the memories waiting for a moment of weakness to ambush him. Like the FOH snipers and Scott squeezed his eyes closed.

His fingertips stumbled on the leather of Logan's belt but he made himself go on. Flushing in a moment of embarrassment Scott cupped his palm over Logan's crotch. The Canadian drew a hard breath against his mouth, snorting a little through his nose, and Scott felt the abrupt flex of his cock against his hand. Logan crushed them together, rubbing himself against Scott's inexpert touch, his kisses grew deep and demanding.

"Logan I —" Scott pulled away, only to feel Logan's mouth roaming roughly down his throat. He lost track of his thoughts briefly when he felt the pull and suck of Logan's mouth on his pulse, then a firm bite testing the skin of his neck. "I haven't —"

"Yer doin' just fine." Logan muttered, breathing harshly in his ear. Logan slipped a hand between them to shape Scott's fingers over his cock. Scott squeezed gently, feeling hard heat beneath worn denim. "Mmm. That's it."

Logan rocked in time to Scott's strokes, his teeth closing on the lobe of Scott's ear. Scott felt the bunch and thrust of muscles in Logan's thighs and stomach and realized that he was squirming against Logan's body, trying to push himself closer. He was frantic for some touch himself and loathed his body for its betrayal. Logan slipped his wet tongue inside Scott's ear and he forgot what he hated about this.

"Logan!" He groaned.

Logan looked up at him and that sharp, sarcastic smile made a brief appearance. Scott gave his cock a squeeze and Logan's expression dissolved into blank lust. Those dark eyes stared up at him and Scott was startled by how exited that heavy lidded gaze made him. Logan stroked his fingers through his hair then brushed the back of his knuckles lightly along Scott's cheek.

"Lemme take yer visor off, Slim." He whispered.

"I won't be able to see."

"S'all right." Logan smiled again, but gently. "Y'don't have ta see. I'll be right here w'ya."

Scott nodded and closed his eyes. Logan stroked his face and gently plucked his visor off. Scott felt cool air against his closed eyes and the itch of trapped sweat and tears drying now on his skin.

"Yer beautiful, Slim." Logan's voice, so close he could feel his breath, was startling tender. Logan's cock twitched against his hand, still pressed between their bodies.

"Didn't know you were one for flattery." Scott snorted softly and turned his face aside. Logan's fingers tightened on his chin, pulling him back and then he felt the light touch of Logan's lips on his eyelids. Logan explored his face with his lips, kissing his way along his cheeks, across the bridge of his nose, nibbling on his eyebrows. Murmuring between each kiss. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Scott blindly sought Logan's mouth, scrabbling suddenly at Logan's belt, struggling one handed to undo the man's pants. He wanted to hold Logan's cock in his hand. In the darkness behind his closed lids, everything seemed much easier.

He kissed Logan hard, shuddering as Logan sucked at his tongue. Their teeth knocked together lightly then they broke apart to gasp for breath. Logan reached down with a hissed curse and helped Scott with his belt. The zipper chirped down, Scott felt pubic hair against his knuckles, Logan wasn't wearing briefs. Then, Logan groaned as the back of Scott's hand brushed against his cock. Pressing his face to Logan's shoulder, Scott slipped his hand into the other man's jeans and wrapped his fingers around stiff, hot flesh.

"God, yeah!" Logan cried, his hips rising to follow Scott's hand as he pulled gently at Logan's cock. He seemed enormous in the darkness of Scott's temporary blindness. Scott felt skin slide oddly at the tip of Logan's cock and realized he wasn't circumcised. Of course, he couldn’t be. Uncertain, Scott stroked his fingers over the head of Logan's cock, not sure how to manage the foreskin. He'd never even seen an uncircumcised man. Logan nipped his ear and gripped Scott's hand, fingers twining with his, showing him how to push the loose skin back across the head of his cock.

"Feels good." He muttered into Scott's neck.

Scott repeated the gesture, fisting Logan's cock slowly. Warm pre-cum trickled across his fingers as he played with Logan's foreskin. Logan hissed in pleasure and attacked his throat again. Scott lost his rhythm, moaning, as Logan left a line of bruising kisses along his neck.

Fingernails scratched his back lightly and Logan pulled his shirt out of his pants. Then the shock of contact, Logan's hot hand against his skin had Scott blindly seeking Logan's mouth. He bit at Logan's lips. He dipped his head to bite Logan's throat, fisting his cock at the same time. The Canadian grunted, jerking Scott's shirt free and pushing his hands along his back. There were swaying so that Scott began to worry that they were going to fall.

"Need to lie down." He gasped into Logan's ear, letting go of his cock. Logan's arms tightened with a snarl before he let go and fumbled impatiently with Scott's shirt.

With one arm immobilized and blind, Scott braced his hand on Logan's shoulder and let the other man undress him. He fought the impulse to pull away when he felt Logan's hands on his zipper.

"That's real nice." Logan chuckled as he pushed Scott's briefs down and his rigid erection bounced free. Scott flushed. He was glad he couldn't see right now.

He felt Logan's hands slide down his legs pushing his pants down. A sudden, ticklish brush against his cock made him cry out. It was Logan's hair. Logan laughed softly, Scott felt his breath on his thighs and his cock went into a twitching spasm of anticipation. Logan cupped his ass in his hands then ran his tongue slowly along the length of his cock. Oh, it was so good. In an instant, Scott was on the edge of coming, as frantic as a teenager.

"Oh, my god." Scott braced himself on Logan's shoulder, knees buckling. Logan licked him again then stood up. Dazed, Scott stood there, his cock aching and listened to Logan strip.

Logan guided him to the bed and Scott sat, then reached out blindly. Logan had to be right there — his cock had to be — and his hand slid up a hairy thigh to touch the loose, furred scrotum. Playing with Logan's balls made the other man moan low in his throat. Scott smiled then Logan was crowded against him, one hand on his neck the other on his hip, guiding him back onto the bed.

Logan's warm weight was welcome and the stroke of his body hair was startlingly arousing. He'd never felt anything like it. Scott pulled Logan's face to his and spread his legs in response to the nudge on his thighs. Logan settled down with a gusting sigh and their cocks touched. Scott gave a hiccuping cry, rubbing against rough pubic hair and the heat of Logan's cock. Logan grunted and ground against him.

"Ah-! Stop — get off. Off!" Scott cried as his shoulder spasmed savagely. He struggled, pushing his good arm between them to keep the intolerable weight off his injured shoulder joint.

Logan was off him in an instant, rolling aside, the bed creaking as he crouched next to him. Scott felt him brush his fingers uncertainly across his body and heard the anxiety in his uneven breathing. "What is it?"

"It's alright." Not so distracted by Logan's hands, Scott could tell that lying under Logan wasn't a good idea. And he could sense Logan's withdrawal but it was too late for that. Whatever they were doing, Scott didn't want to stop. He sat up and reached out, guided by the dip in the mattress and Logan's breathing. "It's alright, Logan. I can't lie like that. Hurts."

"Yeah. Okay." Logan said after a moment. His fingers traveled slowly across Scott's skin, then he shifted, pulling Scott down again.

After a moment of disorientation, Scott was settled on top of Logan. Sprawled across all that heavy muscle and feeling the erotic brush of warm body hair, Scott forgot all about his shoulder. He rocked his hips, moving like Logan had, rubbing himself over Logan's body. Logan grabbed his head and dragged him down for a hard kiss, Scott could feel his cock jerk with pleasure. He growled into Logan's mouth, frustrated. One armed, he couldn't touch Logan. Well, not with his hands.

Scott nuzzled down Logan's throat, tasting salt and stubble. Unexpectedly, Logan arched his head back, bearing his throat — something Scott never thought the other man would do. Scott sucking on thin skin over a racing pulse wondered, briefly, what this all meant to Logan.

"Yer thinkin'" Logan growled and trailed his fingers down Scott's spine, the light scratch of his fingernails left Scott moaning in mindless response. He didn't want to think, Logan didn't want him to think. Feeling was enough.

He wiggled downward, bracing himself on his good hand and bit Logan's collar bone. He liked the way the other man tasted, and the texture of Logan's hair was interesting on his lips and tongue. Logan's hand cupped the top of his head, pushing gently, urging him down. Scott's mouth moved blindly over Logan's chest and he discovered a small, puckered nipple. Logan gasped and arched up, pressing Scott's mouth hard to his chest. Scott licked him again then sucked firmly. Logan — amazingly — whimpered.

Oh, this was good. Scott swirled his tongue slowly across the nipple, scraped briefly with his teeth — Logan jerked and cried out. His cock was trying to dig a hole in Scott's belly. Scott pulled back, blew a little across Logan's wet nipple, listened to Logan gasp and slid himself across the broad, hairy chest to give his other nipple some attention.

Mouth pressed wide against Logan's chest, sucking hard, Logan's hand gripping the back of his head, feeling Logan's heart beating against his lips and in the pulsing of his cock, Scott thought he might stay like this forever. He wiggled a little, trying to tease Logan's cock. His own erection was hanging between Logan's legs, the tip brushing occasionally against the wool blanket, a torment that was driving him wonderfully crazy.

"G'wan." Logan pushed him down and Scott followed the textural map of hair down the shuddering muscles of Logan's belly. He tongued the hollow of the man's navel, and stroked Logan's chest and stomach. Logan jumped under him. Scott smiled. The hard as nails Wolverine was ticklish. That might be something to keep in mind the next time they were in the danger room. Logan began to pant as Scott settled between his legs. Logan's cock nudged his chin, leaving a slick smudge of pre-cum on Scott's neck.

Scott braced himself on Logan's hip, his mouth an inch from the heat of his cock and wondered what the hell he was doing. He'd never sucked a cock before in his life. Never even imagined that he wanted to. And it was Logan, a worse choice for this he couldn't imagine.

"I don't know how to do this." He finally said, embarrassed.

"Ain't hard." Logan muttered, letting go of his hair to stroke Scott's cheek with his fingers. Logan touched his lips, Scott let him push a finger into his mouth. "Suck on it."

He did. Logan pushed his finger in and out. "Use yer tongue too, Slim."

He sucked and licked, curling his tongue around the thick finger in his mouth. Thick yes, but not as thick as Logan's cock. Not nearly as large. Logan pressed two fingers in up to the knuckles and Scott choked. He couldn't imagine how he was going to handle Logan's cock. Logan was moving under him, his hips pumping slightly and Scott didn't think for a moment that Logan was going to let him change his mind now.

Logan pulled his finger out then moved Scott's head down a little. Scott felt a wet, hot touch against his lips and opened his mouth. Logan guided the tip of his cock into Scott's mouth. "Oh, yeah, Slim. That's real good. Lick it."

Breathing hard through his nose, Scott licked the head of Logan's cock, using his lips to push the foreskin back. One of Logan's hands was cupped against his cheek, the other was holding his cock, occasionally bumping Scott's mouth. Logan was working his own shaft while Scott licked and kissed the head.

Pre-cum tasted salty and a little raunchy — or maybe that was just Logan - not unpleasant really, but nothing like Jean. Scott opened his mouth wider and pulled the head of Logan's cock in, suckling softly and Logan twitched under him. He sucked harder, pleased when Logan groaned and pushed up a little. He took as much as he could. A heavy vein throbbed against his tongue. Scott rubbed down the shaft, spit trailing from the corners of his mouth.

"Ahh. Yer so wet. So good. Suck me. Suck my cock." Logan growled, thrusting with his hips and dragging Scott's head down. Scott choked. "C'mon, Slim. Y'can do it."

Logan's hand was moving steadily on his cock and Scott followed the rhythm, bobbing up and down, neck beginning to ache. Logan's breathing was harsh and loud and his hips began to pump. Scott could taste more pre-cum leaking into his mouth and swallowed convulsively. Logan moaned, lifting up into the flex of his mouth. His hand moved faster, Scott struggled to keep up.

"M'gonna cum! Y'gottat take it. Yeah- ah, ah — yeah! Yeah! Yeah!"

God. Scott sucked harder, taking Logan's cock as deep as he could, working in time to Logan's hand. Logan was going to come in his mouth and he was salivating at the thought. There wasn't room in his dark world for anything but the thrust of Logan's cock, the ache in his jaws, the sudden rise and throbbing heat, Logan's choked cry, the sour salty fluid pulsing hard in his mouth. Gagging, he swallowed, mouth full of Logan's cock and his cum. Logan was shuddering violently under him, gasping for air.

Scott slumped down, face against Logan's thigh and catching his breath in great whoops. His good arm was shaking, to tired to support him anymore and the pain in his injured shoulder was a distant twinge. Logan was stroking his head and Scott kissed his fingers. And, god, he needed to come. Unconsciously, he rubbed his cock against Logan's hairy shin.

Logan growled and untangled himself from Scott, rolling him onto his back. Scott flinched nervously, afraid that Logan would lie on him again but the other man knelt between his spread legs, fingers stroking lightly down Scott's chest and belly. He pinched one of his nipples, twisting gently, and Scott arched up closing his hand around a wrist and tried to drag Logan's hand down to his aching cock.

Logan chuckled low in his throat then bent to suck on Scott's nipples. The rush of that touch was raw and immediate. Scott whimpered — like Logan had — and thrashed under strong suction and the occasional tease of Logan's sharp teeth.

"Dammit — Logan I need to come!" Scott finally cried. His cock was tight and aching. His whole body was oversensitive and burning for release.

"I c'n see that, Slim. Yer as big as a horse." Logan murmured against Scott's sweating belly. He made his way down Scott's body; wet animal kisses alternating with not so gentle bites. Scott twitched and whimpered helplessly under him, pulling rather hard on Logan's hair.

Logan pushed at his legs and Scott spread wide, his breath caught in a little cry as he was rewarded by a slow stroke of Logan's tongue down his cock and a second lick up his perineum and over his balls. He waited breathlessly for more wonderful heat, wet stroking — and waited. Logan shifted away from him despite his clutching hand. Scott heard the rattle of a bedside drawer and a muttered curse. Well beyond caring what Logan was doing he reached down and began to fuck his own fist. He was losing his mind and couldn't wait anymore.

"Na, that's mine." Logan snarled and bit his fingers sharply, returning to his position between Scott's thighs. "You get yer hands off."

"Do something then, damn you." Scott cursed, clawing at Logan's shoulder and thrusting his hips up. Logan slid a hand under his ass, lifting him and kissing his cock lightly. Scott jerked, head rolling on the mattress, edging towards climax. Logan's mouth was travelling lightly along his cock but wasn't enough to make him come. "Damn you. Damn you. Suck on it!"

Logan only laughed, his breath hot on Scott's cock. He braced one hand on Scott's hip, the other slid between Scott's buttocks, fingers cold and slippery.

"No!" Scott arched up sharply, lifting off the probing fingers. Logan suddenly dragged his cock hard into his mouth and Scott shouted. A finger thrust up into him at the same moment. Scott thrashed, caught between the rush of heat in his balls and the startling discomfort of Logan's finger. He tried to squirm free and Logan's mouth slid away from his cock. "Please — Logan — don't!"

That finger stayed in him, wiggling unpleasantly deeper into his ass while Logan flicked his tongue across the head of his cock. Scott jerked, clenching around the invasion, realized what Logan's torturing mouth was telling him and sank down Logan's finger with a frustrated groan. Logan's mouth slid down him again, taking him to the root but only for a moment. A finger thrust made Scott jump, Logan sucked one of his balls into his mouth and Scott ground himself uncontrollably onto the finger inside him. Oh, god, it was beginning to feel good.

Scott jerked his knees up and apart and Logan rewarded him with a series of slow, melting licks along the underside of his cock. Two fingers wiggled into him then Logan was finger fucking him in concert with his lapping tongue. Moaning, Scott began to lose any sense of where the pleasures he was feeling originated. The slick, rhythmic strokes inside his ass started a throbbing in his balls, rising up like pressure in his cock and spilling out of his mouth in pleading whimpers. Logan pulled back, pulling his fingers out of his anus and lifted Scott's knees over his arms.

"No, Logan. I don't —" Scott tried to pull his knees free as Logan dragged his hips closer. His anus flexed, Scott felt open and humiliated, tipped on his back, legs in the air, blind and vulnerable.

"Yer gonna." Logan rumbled. "Try'n relax."

"No —" He could stop Logan, hell, he could blow his head off. All he had to do was open his eyes. But he felt like one giant nerve ending, aching for Logan's touch Even this.

One of Logan's hands clamped brusingly on his hip, holding him steady. Scott flinched and thrashed a little when he felt a hot, gentle pressure on his anus. Logan's cock. At first Scott thought could handle it, panting as he felt the odd sensation of something pushing into his body, then a sudden ache swept through him and he cried out. He tried to twist away and Logan's grip tightened, the pressure in his ass never letting up. It was an impossible fit, too tight, stretched too wide, Logan was just too damn big.

"Stop! God, stop! Logan - !" Scott begged.

"Easy, Slim." Logan rumbled, voice soothing, big hands holding him still, palms pressed on his ass to spread him open. "Yer doin' fine. Doin' fine. Just relax fer me."

It was horrible, it felt like Logan was shoving a baseball bat up his ass. Nothing halted the slow, inevitable progress of Logan's cock inside him. Scott twisted the sheets in his fingers and found himself responding to Logan's reassurances, his deep raspy voice coaxing him to open up, accept him. There was something compelling about his own helplessness, the penetrating ache stirred up really visceral urges — and it was finally driving the last few hours out of his mind. There wasn't anything left but Logan and the bite of his fingers in the flesh of his hips, the inching progress of his thick cock. Scott began to pant, anticipating that moment of complete penetration.

"Oh, yer doin' real good, Slim. Real good. Just let me in yer ass. Just like that — yeah. Y'can do it, I know y, can." Logan leaned over him, pushing his knees up higher. His rough voice was tense, tightly controlled and he was moving carefully deeper. "Breathe, Slim. Breathe — good."

It was so much easier, so much better, to simply listen to Logan. Scott struggled to control his breathing. His thighs relaxed, no longer fighting Logan's weight and with a slow, final push, Logan was all the way inside him.

"Ohmygod." Scott whimpered, tears trickling down his temples.

"Yer so damn tight!" Logan hissed in savage pleasure.

Nearly folded in half, Scott could do nothing but wait and be grateful for the moment the other man was giving him to adjust to the feel of his cock rammed into his ass. Logan's balls were pressed between his upturned ass and Logan's hips, thick pubic hair tickled the tightly stretched ring of his anus. The muscles of his rectum burned and throbbed — or maybe that was the burn and throb of Logan's cock. Scott couldn't tell.

Logan began to move, thrusting slowly and very gently but deeply. Low groans rolled out of his belly in time to the slow roll of his hips. Scott was completely limp with his legs draped over Logan's arms and rocking in time to his thrusts. If the initial penetration had been horrible, this was — terrible. Intense. Astonishing. Logan was thrusting easier inside him now. Not because Logan's cock had somehow become smaller but his own body was opening up, his ass shaping itself to the rigid shaft working him. Scott whined as an odd pleasure began to stir him, alternating with the fading rhythmic ache. His breathing, even his heartbeat was pounding in time to Logan's cock stroking him.

He'd never felt like this — he felt almost sick, strung out on a single note of raw need. Logan, breathing hard now, shifted and Scott nearly screamed at sudden ecstatic rush as Logan's shaft stroked over some small, hidden spot inside him. Oh, that must be his prostrate. Distantly, he heard Logan laugh, felt him thrust again and that same fierce pleasure raced like a static charge up his spine and straight into his brain. He arched instinctively, pushing against Logan's thrusts, forcing himself onto the thick, hard shaft. Each time there was that same crazy pleasure, as intense as the first time, as hot, as wonderful.

Scott was stretched drum tight around Logan's cock, moaning, begining to shudder under the brutal stimulus. His fingers and toes were tingling with approaching orgasm, his scalp tightening, his balls were drawn hard to his body. Scott's cock was enormous, immobile, and smearing pre-cum onto Logan's belly as the other man folded him up like a piece of origami and fucked his brains out.

Logan was driving into him like a piston, and Scott was coming, shrieking, exploding into pleasure as he spurted violently across Logan's chest and belly. Logan grunted raggedly, stiffened and thrust convulsively twice before collapsing down onto Scott's limp body. They were panting loudly, Scott felt sweat tricking down his sides to soak into the wool school blanket. Before he really had time to register the pain in his shoulder, Logan had rolled off his chest to sprawl beside him.

Wrung out, to spent to move, Scott could finally allow his exhaustion to rise up and claim him. There would be no dreams, he knew. No nightmares. All he felt was the euphoric buzz of physical exhaustion; his memories, fears, the horrors of the last day had been washed away. If the price he'd had to pay had been the loss of a virginity he'd never thought of to a man he didn't like, he'd made worse bargains in his life. Falling over the edge of sleep, Scott felt a gentle kiss against his sweating forehead and, eyes closed, he turned his face away.

END