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Shame

Logan knew all the squeaky boards in the hallway by now and he knew the lock on Scott and Jean's room as well. This wasn't the first time he'd been here. Every time, he swore it would be the last.

He slipped inside and shut the door. The window was open, fluttering the heavy curtains. School books and student papers were stacked on Scott's dresser, Jean's was neat and nearly bare. She had her own study and Logan knew she never did work in this room. The afternoon sunlight was heavy and golden across the worn carpet. Logan sighed. It always smelled so good in here. It was why couldn't stay away.

Logan prowled, skirting the neatly made bed, opening Jean's closet to brush his fingers across red silk and conservative wool suits. He inhaled deeply, clean clothes, the acrid scent of her perfume and - faintly - the scent of her skin. Logan caught up a sleeve and sniffed it. Rubbed his cheek on the wool. Closed his eyes and brushed a thumb across his lips. He wanted her so bad it hurt. Just being in this room made him hard.

Avoiding his reflection in the mirror above Jean's dresser, Logan pulled open the top drawer and sank his hands into the soft pile of silk, satin and nylon. The scent rose around him, clean, fine. Jean. He felt overheated, flushed with shame and faintly ill. Pawing through a woman's underwear was something little boys did, not grown men. Not him. Logan picked up some silk thing - he didn't even know the name of it - with spaghetti straps and ice green lace. Rubbed it against his lips and the ache in his belly sank lower as the scent and texture, the thought of Jean *wearing* this and the skin beneath -

The lock clicked and Logan raised horrified eyes to the mirror and saw the reflected door open as Scott slipped inside.

They stared at each other, Logan with both hand's frozen in Jean's underwear drawer, Scott's expression unreadable under the bright red shades.

"If you're looking for her wallet." Scott said, setting the bottle in his hand carefully on his dresser. "I rather think its in her purse in DC right now, along with the rest of her."

"I ain't stealin' nothin from Jennie!" Logan snapped, slow color crawling painfully up his face. He didn't turn around but the big mirror left him completely exposed anyway.

Scott tilted his head, studying Logan, still expressionless. "What *are* you doing here?"

Logan, helplessly, shook his head.

"I had been planning on getting drunk - " Scott took a few steps into the room, paused and steadied himself on the bed. "Drunker. Shitfaced in fact. I hate it when Jean travels without me."

Scott walked over to where Logan was frozen by Jean's dresser. He took the green lingerie out of his hand. "Pretty thing. Prettier on her, of course, but you wouldn't know that."

Logan jerked his hands out of the drawer and slammed it shut. He was still flushed so red it felt like he had a fever. Just wanted to go somewhere and puke. "That's right, One-Eye. I don't know shit."

Scott hummed thoughtfully and fingered the scrap of silk. "Is this what you came for?"

Logan didn't speak but the abrupt bob of his throat as he swallowed was answer enough. Scott stared at him then shook his head slowly, stunned. He snorted, choking back a laugh.

"My god -" He said. "And we thought it was Bobby. *You've* been stealing her underwear."

"Jesus - " Logan groaned. "Y'don't have t'fucking rub it in. Just - Jesus - just don't say anything to - to her. Please Cyke - I'm beggin' ya."

Scott bit his lip, struggling not to laugh. Then his expression changed and he took Logan's hand, holding on through the flinch. Scott pressed the silk into his hand and folded Logan's fingers over it. "This what you want?"

Logan just closed his eyes, skin burning with shame. "Don't tell her. God, don't tell her."

Scott leaned close, whispering in Logan's ear. The Canadian smelled the heavy scent of brandy or port on his breath. "What's in it for me?"

Logan stiffened. "What - the hell ya mean?"

Scott's hand curled around Logan's wrist. "You're a jerk, Logan. Never a kind word for anyone - me especially - why should I lie to my wife for you? What are you going to do for me? Isn't that the way it works? Nothing for free. We aren't friends. I know what you think about me; stuck up, tight assed - "

Scott stopped, breathing hard and nearly as red as Logan. "So - what's in it for me?"

Logan swallowed, painfully. "What the hell ya want?"

Scott moved even closer, until he was leaning - out of balance - on Logan's shoulder. "I want a piece of you, you son-of-a-bitch."

Logan jerked back, lip curled as Scott stumbled then braced himself on the dresser. "What the fuck -!"

"You heard me. You know what I mean - I want a piece of you."

Logan shook his head, then again sharply. "No way in hell, Cyke. No way -"

Scott smiled and it wasn’t a nice smile. "Well, I guess you can have that bit of silk, I'm sure Jean will understand - when I explain it to her."

"Cyke -"

"I'm not going to hurt you." Scott murmured, back at Logan's side again. Logan, feeling like he'd been trapped in some kind of nightmare, remained frozen as Scott leaned closer - at the last minute he turned his face aside with a grimace to take Scott's kiss on his throat rather than his mouth. At the same time, Scott gripped Logan's wrist through the silk in his hand. The texture, the heat, the scent - a mix of Scott and Jean and brandy - Logan groaned. His cock flexed in his pants, heavy, aching.

"Didn't take you for a swing hitter." Logan panted.

"You don't take me for much." Scott said, lips moving against his neck, inmate and disturbing.

Logan didn't move as Scott ran a hand down his arm. Only shuddered when that warm mouth opened against his skin but groaned in response when that wet - hot - tongue stroked along his pulse. Scott hummed, kissed his throat, open mouthed and hungry.

"This w-hat y'want?" Logan muttered, eyes shut against the afternoon light and the offensive image in the mirror. Scott continued to kiss Logan's neck, scraping lightly with his teeth and making the hair rise on Logan's neck. He pressed the palm of his hand to the small of Logan's back and pulled them together. His thigh slid between Logan's legs and the Canadian gasped and lurched forward.

"This is all I'm likely to get." Scott muttered, pushing against Logan's cock.

Logan clumsily gripped the other man's shoulders, feeling the slide of hard muscle. Nickname or not, Slim was a strong man. Everyone on the team had to be, Jean was cut too. The Canadian shook his head, eyes still tightly closed at the unfamiliar combination of masculinity and desire. He didn’t fuck men. He didn't steal women's underwear. Scott didn't get drunk. Scott was the perfect boy scout. Fearless leader. Professor's pet.

"Shit -!" Logan grunted, bucking as one of Scott's hand slid across his ass while the other wormed it's way between their bodies - fondling him cleverly. To exited to care anymore and eager to regain the upper hand, Logan twisted and pushed Scott against Jean's dresser. He snarled softly and bit the long throat. Scott only sighed and tipped his head back and Logan instinctively responded by nipping, licking, sucking that exposed skin. He could feel the galloping pulse under his tongue. He bit down, Scott flinched, groaned and ground against him.

Logan shuddered, feeling a hard cock thrust against his hip. The two of them struggled, breathless, groping each other as both strove to control the increasingly urgent embrace. Logan found himself being guided to the bed. Scott clearly had the upper hand - experience and interest outplaying Logan's uncertainty. He didn’t want to be here but he was so fucking hard. He thought about Jean and putting Scott on his belly and reaming the fearless leader himself and let the other man guide him. He'd get his own back.

Scott didn't let him.

Scott let Logan roughly strip him without complaint, even when he tore his button down shirt. Then there was all this warm skin and hard muscles, scars on belly, shoulders and thighs. Logan paused and stroked the knotted one that ran across Scott's hip. Of course, this man would scar. Could die. Would - eventually - die. Without his clothes, old Red-Eye didn't look like a preppy little boy at all. Confused, Logan's hands gentled on Scott's skin.

He glanced up at Scott's hidden eyes then away again, uneasy. Caught sight of their reflection and winced from that. Scott's expression shifted like quicksilver then he cupped Logan's face in his hands. His palms were hot and damp.

"This is no time for thinking." Scott kissed him, holding on through Logan's attempt to pull away. Scott was strong and Logan found himself invaded, startling because it wasn't as disgusting as he'd expected. That mouth was talented, the flick of a tongue across a canine made Logan groan and respond in kind. Scott's thumb pressed against his chin, opening his mouth wider, as if the other man was trying to climb inside him. Then he was rubbing against naked skin, grinding, hot aching, hating his clothes. Scott let him stew until Logan tore away with a snarl and yanked his clothes off, throwing them around the room.

Scott's smile was amused and Logan growled. "Y'got quite a talented mouth there, Slim. Maybe y'shoudda took up a different profession?"

Scott smile twisted, bitter for a moment. He snagged the bottle from his dresser and took a drink. "Been there, done that, threw away the T-shirt."

Logan shook his head, trying to think through the heat. All kinds of things going on here, things he wasn't a part of. Never really part of anyone's life, not Jean's, not Rogue's, not this man - so different from what he was on the other side of the door. He eyed Scott warily. The man was suddenly unpredictable. Logan wasn't fond of surprises.

Scott ran a fingertip down Logan's bare chest to pause just below his navel. The Canadian's heavy cock surged in anticipation. Scott nudged him back until the backs of Logan's knees were against the bed. Nudged him again, and Logan sat.

He inhaled deeply, the scent of Scott heavy in the air, his stiff cock bobbing in front of his nose.

The other man's hand cupped his chin and tipped his head up. Scott was looking down at him, head tipped curiously.

"What's it smell like?"

Logan glanced down again, swallowed hard. Swallowed again, he was salivating at the scent. He dug his hands into the sheets, very aware of the shift of his claws in his arms.

"Like food - " He said roughly. Scott's expression was somewhere between fascination and amusement and a certain visceral fear.

"If I let you put it in your mouth, will I get it back again?"

Logan jerked his face from Scott's grip, stared at the window, breathing hard. The thought of putting his mouth around that living flesh, feeling the blood pulse under that thin skin. He shuddered and met Scott's eyes angrily. "Why don't y'find out."

Scott shivered and cupped Logan's head, pulling him closer. His thumb came down to rest at the hinge of Logan's jaw but if he thought that was gonna stop him - Logan tongued the tip of cock, flicking the drop of fluid away. The taste rocketed through him, a shock that made his hands tighten on the bedspread until it tore and his cock strain up. He licked again, scraping with his teeth across the rosy head. Drew back to see the fine red streaks rise on the delicate flesh then fade again.

"Oh, shit -" Scott whispered, flinching back. Logan's hands came up had closed on his hips like two steel traps. The Canadian leaned forward and drew the hot shaft into his mouth. Closed his eyes on what he was doing, focused on the taste, the shiver of Scott's skin under his hands. Sucked hard, Scott yelped and bucked, trapped in Logan's hands. He pushed his hands into Logan's coarse hair, holding on and fighting to control the man's hard mouth.

Logan swallowed, cockhead pressed to the roof of his mouth, flavors of salt and sour and musk making drool and fight the hard hands in his hair to take more. He was growling low in his throat, dragging Scott against him, face buried in short brown pubic hair. Sucking savagely, teeth brushing against hot skin. Wanting more. Needing more. The muffled growls rose in volume and intensity and, worried, Scott began to fight to get free of the other man.

"Logan - Jesus Christ I never thought I'd be fighting to get out of someone's mouth - shit - ah - ah - Logan let go!" Panting, Scott finally wrested his cock out of the other man's mouth.

Logan snarled up at him and dragged him onto the bed. They wrestled. Not like kids and not like lovers. Almost like enemies, harsh gasps for breath. Bruising hands. Both of them painfully erect. Logan won, of course. He pinned Scott between his legs, straddling his belly. He stared down at his flushed face as he rocked his cock into the relatively soft stomach. Scott stared up at him and caught his breath.

"Don't you think its my turn?" He said with a smirk.

"What the hell y'mean?" Logan twisted slightly on him, shuddering as his balls rubbed along Scott's damp cock.

"Find out what you taste like?"

"Oh." Logan squeezed his eyes closed, hands tightening on Scott's wrists as he fought to control himself. Scott watched him with a half smile and it was so obviously a trick - a trap - and fuck he didn't care. His gaze fell to that pretty mouth, imagining it wrapped around his cock. With a grin, Scott slithered our from under Logan, pushing him onto his back on the bed.

He didn't start with his cock. Scott began all the way up at Logan's chin. Logan panted and clung to the bed and stared blindly at the ceiling. Wet suction at his nipples and clever fingers just barely brushing his cock. He hissed and arched up shamelessly. Dragged his hands down Scott's arms, leaving bloody scratches. The scent of blood rose into the air and Logan groaned harshly.

"Scott - c- can't." Logan panted, desperately trying to hang on. His fingers dug into skin, drawing blood again and his cock surged, almost agonizingly hard. Had to - had to come. Had to come now. He grabbed a handful of hair and dragged Scott down to his cock. He was surrounded by wet heat and came immediately with a shout. The flex of Scott's throat as he swallowed his cum made Logan whine.

Shaken and stupid, Logan felt Scott lick his way back up his body. He lay on top of Logan, breathing harshly in his ear. "I get horny as hell when I'm drunk."

"Maybe ya shoudn't be drinkin' when Jeannie ain't home then." Logan panted. He tried, weakly, to push Scott off. The other man shifted and Logan felt his erection slide along his hip, leaving a wet trail. He could smell the man's excitement and Logan swallowed. Scott got a heel hooked under Logan's shin and flipped him onto his stomach.

"No!" Logan surged under him. Scott wrapped his thighs around Logan's hips and rode him. They were back to fighting, until Scott clamped his teeth on the back of Logan' s neck and the Canadian subsided with a whine.

Scott straddled Logan's thighs, still hanging on with his teeth. Logan clutched the bedspread, panting. The feel of Scott's teeth in his skin - there weren't even words for it. Scared shitless, knowing what Scott wanted and he was struggling not to just shoot all over the expensive bedspread. So hard it hurt.

"Please -" Logan groaned. Not knowing what he was begging for. He twisted his head to the side and stared at the window, longing to be out there in the light not trapped in here with Scott.

"Sssh. It's alright. It's alright, Logan. I won't hurt you." Scott whispered. He licked the nape of his neck and Logan shuddered each time that warm tongue touched him. "I won't hurt you."

"Don't make it okay." Logan managed. His hips moved, betraying himself. Scott sighed, shifting on top of him. His teeth grazed Logan's skin, the Canadian's thighs shifted, pressing against the bed, spreading slightly.

Scott crooned against his shoulder, whispering in his ear. "That's right. You know who's top dog around here. You're always snapping at my heels, trying to get at my wife, trying to run the show. But that isn't your place. I know it - "

Scott slid a thigh between Logan's knees and the Canadian spread his legs with a shaky sigh.

" - and I know it. And I'm going to show you."

Logan's hands were white knuckled fists in the sheets, sweat stung his eyes but he didn't fight. Too late for that. "Y'watch to many damn nature shows. I ain't a dog."

Scott chuckled softly. "I'm not the one who's about to take it up the ass because of their place in the household. The pack."

Logan's breath hitched and his face was scarlet with humiliation. He squeezed his eyes tight shut and tried to pretend he wasn't here. This wasn't him. Sick of himself and his own fucked up head that he'd be hard for this. Glad for this - this little chance to be a part of something. To belong somewhere - reassured by Scott's putting him in his place. He could feel Scott's hard cock rubbing his ass and he wanted it. "Just fucking get on with it!"

"All right." Scott murmured. "All right. Lift up."

Face burning, Logan did as he was told. He drew his knees up face still buried in the pillows and closed his eyes as Scott shifted behind him, fumbling at the bedside table. A cool, slick palm slid between Logan's legs from behind. He groaned loudly as Scott pumped his cock and he thrust into his fist. His damn ass was wagging in the air and he didn't care. Felt so good, Scott's hand fisted around him. Wet.

"You've got a gorgeous cock, Logan." Scott breathed. "God, yes. And a gorgeous ass. I'm going to make you know it, too."

Logan buried his face in the pillows and groaned. Scott stroked a finger along his ass crack, teasing him, then pressing gently against his anus. Logan was wracked by a powerful shudder and a thread of pre-cum spun down from his engorged cock to drip onto the maroon bedspread. Sliding pressure, strange and disturbingly invasive. Scott pressed deep, carefully twisted, exploring. He found Logan's prostate and the Canadian bucked and yelped. Scott steadied him with a hand on the powerful rise of his ass and stroked him again.

"God, Cyke - *more*." Logan breathed. The pressure deepened, and a tingling rush of heat rose from the base of his spine, his cock twitched and jerked as if Scott was playing him from the inside. "- More - "

He begged, beyond caring, for more and more. Until Scott, with a breathless laugh, settled closer. The press of his cockhead against his shuddering anus made Logan pant and push back.

"Take is easy." Scott muttered. "Easy."

"Fuck me. Just fuck me!"

Scott pressed forward, pushing in as Logan groaned. The ache was deep and broad as Scott slid carefully in. There was a long moment of pain, Logan hissed. It eased slowly and Scott remained still until Logan relaxed. The Canadian panted into the pillows, ass in the air and waited for Scott to fuck him. The other man's hands slid up his back, petting him. They curled in his hair and Scott rocked forward.

"Oh, god." Logan groaned, the deep stroke gliding over his prostate and his hips rose to meet the next, slow thrust. Scott was going to draw it out, Logan could feel it like he could feel the ache in his ass as he adjusted to the shaft splitting him. Scott moved slowly, gently fucking him, hands holding his head firmly to the mattress. Logan drew himself together, pulling his knees under his body in instinctive submission.

"Yesss - yess." Scott breathed, moving a little faster, raising the heat. "You figure it out. We need you - we need you Logan. You have skills no one else does, you don't think like me. But - not trying to tear everything down."

Scott leaned over Logan and sucked on his neck. He thrust hard and Logan yelled, shuddering arching back in response. "I need you, you bastard. You don't get Jean, you don't get me. I get you. Feel it. Feel it. I get you."

"I need someone at my back I can trust. Someone who'll be there when I can't. Someone else to be strong." Scott was panting now and fucking him hard. "Someone who isn't bucking - for - my - fucking - job!"

"Scott - Jesus, Scott - " Logan begged, burning under the pounding he was getting. He bit the pillow, savaged it, growling but didn't try to throw Scott off him. Hard hands held his head down. Hips slapped his ass like a punishing hand.

"You understand me?" Scott hissed. "You understand me? I'm on top. I'm always on top. Not you. I get you!"

"Yes! Goddamit, yes!" Logan shouted, straining back, moving into the rising rhythm Scott was setting. Giving himself over to the other man's pace. Letting himself be driven into the mattress. "Please - Scott - I need - I understand - *please*!"

"Ahh, good. You know it. I'll never hurt you and I'll never let you go. You have a placed here. We'll give you a home." Scott groaned, his hand slid under Logan and he grabbed the other man's cock in a hand wrapped in Jean's silky camisole. "Come on. Come on, damn you. You know you need it!"

"Jesus! Jesus!" Logan bucked, hips pumping into Scott's hand, howling in raw pleasure. Driven forward again and again into the scent of the bed, the silk of Scott's hand, the slick, burning ache of his ass. "Yes. Jesus, anything. Anything you want, damn you! Anything!"

Scott sank his teeth into Logan's shoulder and the Canadian howled, shooting violently into the pale green silk Scott was teasing his cock with. Scott shouted his name, hips jerking convulsively as he shot into Logan's spasming ass. He collapsed onto Logan's back and they remained there, Logan curled under Scott, feeling the slow slide of his softening cock out of his body.

He began, astonishingly, to cry. Logan didn't ever remember ever crying before. He hid his face in his arms until Scott pulled him close, rocking him back and forth. Holding him. Holding him and not letting go.

END