Disclaimer: The X-men and their world belong to Mavel/Fox. No profit or copyright infringement is intended.


Hearts in Shadow

{Chapter 4}

The weather was finally turning and it hadn't taken much to coax Logan out of the mansion - full of stir crazy adolescents - for an afternoon hike. The sun was out, falling on the late spring grass and flowers like a kiss and it had been warm enough that Remy had been able to take off his coat for the first time this year.

"W'ats dat one look like to you, cher?" Remy nudged Logan in the ribs. The Canadian shaded his eyes with a hand and stared up at a fresh blue sky dotted with clouds the color of milk.

"A cloud." He said an closed his eyes again.

"Look - cher - dats like a Vespa."

"Uh-hu. Looks like a cloud."

"Dat one?"

"A cloud."

"Dat - look - dat's like a herd a horses!"

"Looks like a cloud t'me. Y'got to much damn imagination."

Remy could hear the grin in the gruff voice. The thief rolled onto his side. Logan was lying flat out in the grass, face turned to the sun, looking remarkably content. The knapsack that had held beer and roast beef sandwiches was empty; the bread, lettuce and tomatoes that Logan had refused with a curled lip in favor of 'just the damn meat' had been tossed out into the light woodland for the foxes and insects.

Remy tickled Logan's ear with a long strand of grass, the Canadian shook his head with a drowsy grunt, obviously assuming it was some bug. The thief grinned and tickled him again, watching the dark eyebrows draw together in mild annoyance. Logan rubbed his ear and ran a hand through his hair then tucked an arm under his head with a yawn. Remy went to tease him again and Logan's hand snapped out, grabbing the thief's wrist and yanking the lighter man against his side.

"Yer bein' a pest." Logan growled. Remy blinked, worried for a moment, then answered Logan's grin with one of his own.

"Ain't dat always de case?"

Logan took the grass away from the thief and tucked it into his mouth. Remy wrinkled his nose.

"Was gonna kiss you cher but you seem pretty fine wid dat grass instead of me."

"Ya think so?" Logan spat the grass out and dragged Remy's face to his. The thief rubbed his thumb along Logan's scruffy jawline, nibbling on the man's tongue. Logan hummed low in his throat and shifted, settling Remy more comfortably on top. Remy smiled against his mouth and dug the fingers of his free hand lightly into the Canadian's ribs - the Canadian's very *ticklish* ribs.

Logan shouted and bucked but Remy wasn't an X-man for nothing. He wrapped himself around the other man, tickling him fiercely. Logan thrashed and howled, whooping curses and laughter and struggled to pry the long limbed thief off. Finally, Logan slithered down, out of Remy's arms and bit his crotch. Remy froze at the dull prick of his teeth through the denim of his jeans.

"Remy wan keep those toys, cher."

Logan growled triumphantly and rubbed his cheek against the fly of his jeans. Remy combed his fingers through the heavy hair, sighing as he got hard. Logan was licking him - or licking the crotch of his jeans anyway. He felt Logan's fingers unbuttoning him and smiled up at the sunny sky. Looked like he'd created a monster. Logan had been determinedly catching up on his blow-job skills ever since Remy had shown him how. At least this time it didn't look like Logan was going to break the zipper on Remy's jeans.

Remy stroked Logan's hair encouragingly and wondered if the Canadian's taste for giving head was something the man had known - and forgotten - before. He wondered, a lot sometimes, what Logan had forgotten. Like being raped. He'd never thought of Logan as a victim. If he'd thought of it at all, Remy had put him in the place of - of the kinds of men who'd hurt someone else. Who'd hurt someone like a skinny street kid. Remy wondered what other surprises were waiting for him in Logan's memories.

"You never - done dis?"

"What?" Logan muttered, tonguing Remy's cock so that the thief could hardly remember what he'd asked or why.

"Um. Suck cock - before you know Remy. " Remy paused. "Creed - he never - ah - made you do dat to him? Force you?"

Logan jerked away, wiping his mouth. "He tried. Once."

Remy propped himself up on his elbows, cock softening in the open air and rejection. He tucked himself away. "W'at happen?"

Logan glanced at him angrily. "What the hell ya wanna know for anyway?"

Remy chewed uneasily on his lip and wished he'd never started this dangerous conversation. "Jus wondering. Sometimes people make you do t'ings - you not want. Der been times - Remy not want to do dat and - people - make him."

Logan frowned at him. "I bit his cock off."

"Mon Dieu!" Remy flinched, knees jerking together reflexively. "He must've to tried to kill you!"

Logan shrugged.

"Cher -"

"Yeah - he tried." Logan pulled up some grass and began to shred it, tension pulling his shoulders up. "I didn't care 'bout that. Wasn't gonna let the son-of-a-bitch do that t'me. Wasn't gonna let no one do that to me. He could - c-could hold me down and fuck me but not - not the other thing."

"Remy let dem." Remy said softly, running a finger tip along a long vanished scar. The thief was too full of his own pain to focus on Logan's. "Remy let dem do - all kinds a t'ing to him."

Logan gave him a sharp, unhappy look. "You were a kid and ya wanted ta live. I was a man and I wanted to die."

"Remy a coward." The thief frowned. "Dat why. Remy never tried to - bite anyone's cock. Too scared."

Logan rolled to his feet with an explosive snort. "Maybe so. Maybe ya need t'get y'head outta y'ass and quit thinking about how crappy *your* life was, kid. Everyone's got shit to deal with. You ain't the only one with memories."

"Logan -?" Remy sat up as the other man stalked off. Logan didn't look back.


Remy wasn't good at apologies. Not this kind anyway. He hesitated outside Logan's door, it was very late, wondering if he should just let more time go by and they could pretend to forget. They could just go on pretending that Logan didn't have real feelings - like so many people seemed to believe - that all the things the Canadian had done and seen didn't affect him. That he was just some kind of animal in human form. But Remy was his lover and maybe he'd started fucking Logan with the idea that he'd be nothing more than another protector the thief could buy with his body, but he knew by now that it wasn't so simple.

"Come in if yer goin' to - " Logan's voice came from inside. "otherwise quit hangin' around my door. I'm tryin' t'sleep."

Remy slipped in and shut the door. "Sorry, cher."

"What d'ya want?"

"Remy sorry he being so full of himself."

"If ya don't wanna hear what I got ta say, don't ask me no more questions." Logan growled. "I don't like talkin' about that crap anyway. It's all old history, don't mean nothin'."

"We bo'th know dat ain't true."

Logan only grunted and lay back down. The thief came and sat on the side of his bed, stroking the back of Logan's wrist lightly. He watched him breathe and felt the sharp tension in the man's arm. Logan hadn't been sleeping.

"I wanted -" Logan began abruptly then halted.

"What cher."

"I wanted to die so bad." Logan whispered. "I spent a year tryin'. Everthing I could think of. Poison. Bleedin' out. Hangin'. Electricity. Eatin a bullet. Everythin'. An' I lived through it all. Hell - the fuckers in the project poured gasoline on me one time and set me on fire - cause they were fuckin' *bored!*"

"Oh, Dieu - cher. Logan -" Remy stretched out and wrapped his arms around Logan. He was shaking and that low, expressionless voice just kept on whispering atrocities.

"Even when Magneto ripped my fuckin' bones out I lived."

"You a survivor, Logan." Remy whispered. The other man's pain was breaking his heart and - he didn't' know what to say. What to do. "And you save other people 'cause you survive."

"I don't want to!" Logan yelled. "I don't want to survive."

He rolled to face Remy, ignoring the tears streaking the thief's face. "Do you know how old I am?"

The thief shook his head.

"Yeah, neither do I. I'm so fucking *jealous* of you - of all of you. You can die. You will die. Someday, I'll be putting you all in the ground - all of you - someday it will all be over for you. You won't have to fight anymore, won't have to hurt anymore. Someday - for you. But all I've got is tomorrow and tomorrow and more tomorrows. More people dyin' on me. More pain. That's all I've got. That's gonna go on forever."

Remy reached out and gently wiped the tears trailing unnoticed down Logan's temples. "Non. Dat's not all you have. You have all de good days too. All de days lyin' in de grass. All de sweet days too, friends -"

"Friends - " Logan choked, swallowing a sob. "Friends that're gonna leave me - I'm so fuckng tired Remy! I want - I want a way out. All of you know - even if you don't think about it - all of you know that there's a point where they can't hurt you anymore. No matter what happens, there's a way out for you. You can escape. I - could never get away. No matter what they did. I could never get away from them. Never escape. I'll never escape."

"Logan - Logan -" Remy kissed his wet eyes, brushed his lips along the solid cheekbones, combed his fingers through the heavy hair, trying to call the man back out of his past. Out of the memories. "Dey don have you no more. You escape and you livin' and you havin' a life - all de thing de tried to take away from you - you got away from dem."

"I carry them around everywhere I go - in my f-fucking bones!"

"You tol Remy - you got scars. We all got scars. Dat don make you their property. You getting the best revenge - you living."

"Remy - Jesus, Remy - " Logan rolled to press his face to Remy's shoulder, hiding himself against the slender thief. "God - when's it gonna be over? When's it gonna stop hurtin?"

The thief squeezed him tight, fingers spread over the wide back as if he could somehow protect Logan from the pain with his own body. Logan burrowed his head into Remy's shoulder and cried.

"Remy got you." He whispered, rocking the other man gently. Logan curled himself up as if he was trying to hide and the thief spooned himself around Logan, as if it were possible to hide him. "Remy got you now. Remy gonna make it stop hurting. You let Remy take care of you, cher. He got you."

Remy nipped the nape of Logan's neck gently. He pressed closer to Logan, kissing the back of his neck, rubbing his chest.

"Feel dat?" Remy shifted so his cock pressed against Logan. He was hard, aching to do something to make Logan feel better. "Der all kinds of t'ings to feel. All kinds of good t'ings. Remy gonna show you, cher."

"Please -" Logan whispered. "Please."

The thief untangled Logan from his blankets and skinned out of his clothes. He just held Logan for a while, stroking him, kissing him, murmuring in his ear - using his charm to ease the man's despair. Logan began to relax finally, getting hard, moving against him, stroking Remy's back and teasing his nipples.

"Feel good, eh cher?" Remy whispered in his ear.

"Yeah -"

"Remy gonna keep making you feel good till you forget everyt'ing else." The thief sucked up a brief bruise on the man's neck and rolled his nipples in between his fingers.

"God - yeah." Logan grabbed Remy's head and dragged him up for urgent kisses. Logan rocked against him, rolling so Remy was resting on top of him. Remy, responding to the restlessness he could feel, gripped the other man's wrists and pinned them down to the bed. Logan groaned and his desire spiked. "Yeah - Remy -"

"Wan make you let go for Remy." The thief whispered in Logan's ear. "Gon take care of you. You trust Remy, oui?"

Logan paused, breathing heavily, then nodded slowly. The thief smiled gently and they kissed, slow and lazy. He held the man's hands to the mattress, shifting so their cocks pressed against each other and they kissed like they were trying to drown in each other. Soon, the Canadian had relaxed and stopped trying to free his hands. He lay quiet, almost passive, accepting Remy's probing tongue and gentle bites with his head thrown back and his heart pounding against Remy's chest.

"Dat feels good, oui?" Remy murmured against the heavy pulse in Logan's neck. He got an incoherent reply and licked Logan's throat, tasting stubble and salt. He let is mouth wander as far down as Logan's small, hard nipples, careful to keep a firm grip on the man's wrists. Logan groaned and lay under him, shivers rippling through him at the play of Remy's clever mouth.

When he leaned carefully back, Logan lay there, breathing hard and watching Remy from his deep set glittering eyes. The thief leaned gracefully over and fished out the rope from under the bed. He felt Logan's breath catch under him and smiled.

The scratchy feel of the nylon make Remy's cock twitch - and when he began to tie Logan's wrists to the bed posts, Logan's cock jerked too. The thief checked the rope, making sure it was snug and safe from Logan's claws - he didn't want the man to be able to get free. The Canadian remained quiet, watching him and the oddly shy trust in those hard eyes made Remy swallow hard and pray to whomever cared that he wouldn't' fuck this up.

When Logan's arms were stretched out and tied, Remy bent to kiss the blunt fingers. "You being real good for Remy, cher. Now, Remy going to be real good for you."

Remy tickled Logan's palm with the tip of his tongue. The man groaned. Remy grinned, pleased, and licked the crease of Logan's elbow.

"Remy - Jesus, Remy." Logan whispered, shuddering. That was one of Logan's hot spots and Remy bit him there. Logan arched and pulled at the ropes. Remy lifted his head, watching the strain in the powerful arms. The bed creaked, holding against the ripple of muscle while yellow rope tightened against Logan's struggles. The heady rush of lust, of *power* made the thief hiss through clenched teeth, red eyes shining in the late night gloom. Logan groaned deeply, arching his body, reveling in the imposed surrender.

Remy kissed Logan's vulnerable mouth then scratched his fingernails lightly down the man's sides, swallowing Logan's startled cry of pleasure. He licked the sweat gathered at the hollow of the man's throat - the skin there was so thin, so delicate it made Remy ache to bite him. He did. Because no one could stop him.

The thief drew out other groans, soft gasps of breath, and whispered, frantic curses as he played idly with Logan's body. He sucked hard at Logan's nipples, until the man was practically thrashing under him. Remy scraped his teeth down his ribs while he teased Logan's navel with a fingertip. He replaced a finger with his tongue, moving to roll the hairy scrotum in his palms. Remy grazed a fingertip down Logan's perineum, nearly bringing the other man off the bed. Remy chuckled and rubbed his cheek against Logan's cock. He kissed the shaft throbbing on Logan's belly while pressing one hand under the man's leg - thumb rubbing the soft hollow behind Logan's knee as he pushed Logan's thighs apart and settled between them.

"Know w'at Remy want cher?" He murmured against the head of Logan's cock. He pressed a fingertip gently against Logan's anus. The warm muscle twitched violently.

"God!" Logan shouted, twisting. Remy held him down, secure in the sharp rush of need he felt from the other man. "Remy - god - I'm g-gonna come!"

"Non." Remy snaked a hand around the base of Logan's cock and pressed a thumb sharply against the big vein snaking along the underside of the red shaft. Logan howled and yanked hard at the ropes but couldn't stop him. Remy grinned down at Logan's stunned face, the man's cock twitching and softening slightly in his hand. "Non. Remy got you now, cher."

Logan was gasping hard, nostrils wide while uncertainty and desire chased each other across his face. His head jerked in a brief nod, in acknowledgement, as he looked into Remy's hungry red and black eyes. "Yeah."

"Mmmm - cher." Remy rubbed his face against Logan's, practically purring with pleasure. He fisted Logan's cock gently in his hand, fighting back the sharp impulse to simply *take* the man. He could. Logan couldn't stop him. The thief kissed Logan hard, thrusting his tongue inside his willing mouth while he rubbed himself against the other man's warm body. It wasn't enough but Logan's open willingness - mixed with the intoxicating tang of nervousness - soothed the violence of Remy's hunger. He gentled his touch, concentrating on Logan and his pleasure.

The Cajun kept Logan distracted while he fished out the lubricant, sliding down Logan's body to lick his cock as he squeezed some chilly lube onto his fingers. There was no distracting him though, when he stroked a slippery finger over the tight pucker of Logan's anus.

"Shit - Remy - ah - ah!" Logan gasped, flinching away. "Fuck - that's cold."

"Warm up soon enough, amoureux." Remy murmured, rubbing, circling, massaging the clenched muscle until he felt a slight yielding. "Dats right - feel dat. Feel dat, me touching you der."

Remy's tongue traced the vein pulsing rapidly on Logan's cock as he slipped a finger inside.

"Ahhh - god!" Logan groaned loudly, hips lifting, pecs and biceps bunching as he pulled hard at the restraining rope. "Remy!"

"C-cher." Remy stuttered, squeezing his eyes closed as he felt just how hot, how tight, Logan was. His cock jerked violently, drooling onto the sheets. Remy continued to gently work Logan's tight opening as his breathing got fast and urgent and the *need* to be inside the other man pounded like a drum in his head.

Hissing through his teeth, Remy pressed deeper, three fingers in now. Logan surged and rolled under him - he'd unconsciously drawn his knees up, offering himself. The sight was maddening, the muscles of Remy's back spasmed, his hips thrust uncontrollably. He had to have Logan - now.

With shaking hands, Remy slicked his frantic cock. Logan was watching him with wide, hungry eyes all his nerves forgotten under aching need. Remy put a hand under one of Logan's knees, bringing that leg up and out. It left Logan open, displayed and all for him. Remy's eyes fixed on the glistening opening, exposed and twitching and he closed a hand hard around the base of his cock to keep from just exploding right then.

"Got - Remy got to have you, cher." He panted, unable to take his gaze from what he wanted long enough to glance at Logan's face. "So beautiful. Cher - you so beautiful."

Logan only growled at him, twisting his hips to open himself up further. Remy groaned and shifted to press his cock to that small hole. The wet, trembling touch was like a kiss and Remy whined, freezing in place, hand clenching on his cock and Logan's leg as he strained to hold on.

"T-tight." Remy whispered as he pressed slowly in. Logan was moaning and shuddering under him. At the flinch and strained groan from the Canadian, Remy paused, panting. He held himself still, partly buried inside Logan to let the other man adjust. He didn't want to but he did anyway.

Logan's eyes were fixed on his face, Remy realized that he was watching his expression as he sank into his body. Remy managed a somewhat strained smile. Logan grinned back, wickedly, and shifted slightly. The intense squeeze and shift around his cock made Remy cry out and lurch forward. His cock surged past the tight constriction and he was suddenly, stunningly buried inside Logan's body.

"Jesus -" Logan gasped, jerking under him. Remy was sprawled on top of Logan's wide body, to shocked at the incredible grip around his cock to say a word.

He was moving, rocking in and out without thinking, nearly in tears at the feel of Logan rippling around him. "D-dieu - amoreaux. Cher - Logan - ch-cher - Remy love you. Love dis. Ssso tight. Hold me so tight."

Drunk on the feel, Remy thrust, wrapping his hands around Logan's tense biceps. The Canadian was breathing harshly, hips jerking upwards in answer to each and every thrust of Remy's cock. The thief stared blindly at Logan's face, mouth open stupidly, hips churning with increasing urgency. He could feel the pulse and throb and squeeze - feel the echo of Logan's frantically beating hart in the miraculous grip on his cock and the sharp pulse of the man's cock pinned between their bellies.

Logan was already flying, so close to coming that Remy could practically taste the rush. The thief lifted his gaze to the nylon wrapped tightly around Logan's arms, pinning him down. The man was so helpless under Remy; knees spread obscenely wide, white knuckled hands clinging to the ropes, grunting under the impact of Remy's hips, body answering to Remy's pleasure. Remy was the one making him feel like that, making him cry out, strain and fight and - finally - surrender. Remy yelled mindlessly, slamming hard and convulsively into Logan's ass, shrieking again at the violent clamp of Logan's anus around him and the wet pulse of come between their bodies.

He sank down onto Logan's heaving chest, shaking to hard to support himself. After a blank moment full of the sounds of two men gasping for breath, Remy reached to cup his hand against Logan's cheek. He brushed a thumb over rough beard and soft lips. Those lips moved, kissing him gently. The thief could feel how relaxed Logan was now, pain eased and distracted by pleasure. Remy closed his eyes, satisfied and rested his head against Logan's big chest. The reassuring sound of Logan's heart soothed him into a doze.